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Don Loristo's avatar

Hey—read your piece. It’s clearly thoughtful and intentional, but I’ve gotta be honest: it reads like someone solidly in what Robert Kegan calls the “self-authoring” stage of adult development (Stage 4), trying to speak from Stage 5 without actually being there yet.

If you haven’t read Kegan’s work, I strongly recommend starting with The Evolving Self and In Over Our Heads. He outlines how adults construct meaning through increasingly complex frameworks. Stage 4 is where people build their own systems to break from old ones. Stage 5 is where they begin to see through all systems, even their own, and stop needing to fix, save, or transcend anything.

The reason I bring this up is because your essay still feels reactive. You’re trying to move beyond spiritual narcissism and traditionalism—but you’re still defining your position in opposition to both. That’s classic Stage 4. You’ve authored a new lens, but haven’t yet let go of needing it to be the better lens.

That distinction matters. Without it, it’s easy to conflate personal conviction with universal insight—and to slip into subtle performance under the banner of humility.

If you’re genuinely aiming for metamodern, post-ego, or integrative perspectives, I’d suggest sitting with Kegan’s fifth stage. It might clarify whether you're truly operating beyond the previous structures, or still writing in reaction to them.

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Leah LaChapelle's avatar

Oneness in diversity. Thank you ~ ♡

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